Australian Citizenship Test
31/10/07 15:52 |
Funny
And now for
something completely different...
From an email I received...
Above: A picture of an Australian citizen.
Subject: FW: FEW: Australian Citizenship Test
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term 'died in the arse'?
2. What is: a bloody little beauty?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage:
'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother .......
b) You're going home in the back of a .........
c) Fair crack of the...........
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl, and they both have mullets ?
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
15. When you go to a bring-your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
16. What purple/redroot vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
22. What does "sinkin' piss at a mates joint and gettin' paralised" actually mean?
You may copy your mates answers. Please submit this back to me when you have had a fair old crack.
The pass rate is 45%
.
From an email I received...
Above: A picture of an Australian citizen.
Subject: FW: FEW: Australian Citizenship Test
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term 'died in the arse'?
2. What is: a bloody little beauty?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage:
'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother .......
b) You're going home in the back of a .........
c) Fair crack of the...........
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl, and they both have mullets ?
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
15. When you go to a bring-your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
16. What purple/redroot vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
22. What does "sinkin' piss at a mates joint and gettin' paralised" actually mean?
You may copy your mates answers. Please submit this back to me when you have had a fair old crack.
The pass rate is 45%
.
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